it has been the weirdest two weeks of my entire life. on march 10th i was sitting in my dorm room– Tank 213, Oberlin College. that same day i was in so much pain that i had a friend drive me to the ER in amherst, ohio. i found out that i had a ruptured ovarian cyst and another 2-3cm cyst on my left side. they released me and on march 11th i went back again for the same pain. on march 12th my mother picked me up from school, helped me pack up all my things, and i went to the ER back home in pennsylvania. the doctors told me i had nothing else wrong with me other than the cyst and that i should just go back home. i refused their diagnosis and spent the night in the ER. the next day they realized how bad my condition actually was and i was admitted into the hospital. i stayed there for seven days. i was vomiting profusely. i had the worst abdominal pain since my last hospital admittance in august of 2017. my mother had to leave me several days in so she could go work. hospital staff wouldn't let her return because of the coronavirus pandemic (which was all going down during this time). my college announced they would be switching to online classes for the rest of the semester and that we would not come back to school after spring break. on march 18th i was released and was not diagnosed with anything concrete.
basically... A LOT has gone down. it's been insane, crazy, surreal. but life is all about rolling with the punches.
i've learned quite a bit since being in the hospital. the first thing is that i'm really bad at taking care of myself. i over consume, over indulge, and over work myself. that is basically what landed me in the hospital in my opinion. second, i'm a super social person. the time i spent alone in the hospital and quarantine life from my own home has been really difficult but also really good as far as healing myself goes. i crave intimacy and physical touch. and third, i need to do things that make me happy again. i want to spend my time better– cooking, writing, singing, and just doing the shit i wasn't doing before because i just didn't prioritize it. i'm not smoking weed for several months. i need to prioritize my health and that starts with a clear mind.
that's why i am writing now, to do something again that makes me happy. this blog has always been a part of that and something i never usually prioritize unless i have the time. well now, i have the time and i want to start writing and sharing with the world. in order to really take care of myself i have to engage in activities that make me happy. so that is where i am at now.
on the mend and ready to put myself out there again. so... what do you want to know?
i am planning on writing a post every other day and putting together a subscription newsletter. comment below any thoughts or questions. let's do this thing